The Cantankerous Conservative pays his Canadian Taxes!

April 17, 2008

Dear Revenuers at Revenue Canada,

Enclosed and/or attached, you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the Toronto Globe and Mail newspaper; dated 12 November, wherin you will see the Canadian Department of National Defense is paying $171.50 per hammer and Fisheries and Oceans Canada has paid $600.00 per toilet seat for its icebreakers.

As payment, I am enclosing eighty (80) toilet seats valued at $2,400 and 35 hammers valued @ $1,029, which I secured at Canadian Tire (because I couldn't find the Government's supplier), bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Stephan Dion Election Fund," as noted on my return.

You can do this inexpensively by sending Mr. Dion one (1) Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from The Globe and Mail detailing how the Department of Public Works pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screw. One Phillips screw is enclosed for your convenience.

I would consider it a personal favour if you could inform Prime Minister Stephen Harper that I have now opened "Robert Otto's House of Hardware and Toilet Seats" and am looking forward to chatting with his common-sense-impaired purchasing officers as I believe that I can supply the government with $750.00 toilet seats, $225.00 hammers and $35.00 Phillips Head Screws.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, knowing that my hard earned tax dollars are being spent so wisely, and I look forward with great anticipation, to paying you even more taxes next year.

Sincerely,
Robert James Otto

PS: Don't forget to tell Stephen about "the crapper collars."